This Thing Called Love!
A continuation of The Pure Light Generation Series.
A man who follows the true line of reasoning arrives at God. Satan’s greatest fear is a man (he/she) who comes to themselves! Chingtok Ishaku 2019.
According to the UN, the country with the highest divorce rate in the world is the Maldives with 10.97 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants per year. This is followed by the Belarus with 4.63 and the United States with 4.34, in Nigeria it’s 3 times lower than the rate in the USA which should narrow it down to about 1 per 1,000 according to the Guinness Book of World Records. Not encouraging right? At this point allow me to say; to your tent O Israel!
Lately, I’e had series of conversations around this sensitive topic; RELATIONSHIP! Mention the word (and it’s as though the angel in charge of blasting the final alarm announcing the arrival of Jesus might have tested The Trumpet, perhaps on a Saturday morning sanitation,) and everyone goes haywire. People are hurt, have been hurt, will be hurt and are yet to be hurt. Often times it leaves me more worn out than a 3-hour visit to the gym.
I’d recently called off an engagement and most times I wake up to messages like, “Are you okay? How are you though?” The most recent read; “How’s your heart?” I busted out laughing, not because I’d turned stone cold or raised an infinite wall shrouding my heart and emotions, it was just darn hilarious. And thank you for reaching out to me, that was far too kind and I’m highly appreciative of everyone who reached out to me, not everyone heals fast or almost immediately, mine was a miracle.
“If troubles weigh us down, that just means that we will receive even more comfort to pass on to you for your deliverance! For the comfort pouring into us empowers us to bring comfort to you. And with this comfort upholding you, you can endure victoriously the same suffering that we experience.” 2 Corinthians 1:6
Now back to the the matter. I’d be developing my thoughts around one conversation or three if time permits me. Two from female perspectives and one from a male so I’m not labelled a feminist.
Discussion 1:
I just found out one of my closest female friends is the vice president of a senior bachelor’s club. At first I thought it was a joke when I sent her a laugh out loud emoji (the things we see on social media these days, you never can tell what’s serious from a joke, so I’ve learned to treat everything jokingly except it’s a verse from the bible, a conversation about Jesus or some major announcement from work/church).
I questioned further more curious to know the kinds of conversations held and why would a female be the vice president of an all male single group? Her response was; they are godly men looking for wives. She stated further something about receiving resumes and my cat instincts delved further; whose? I asked. She said “potential wives”. “What for?” “So they know what we’re looking for in them.” That’s more of a job listing, my brain replied inwards. “It’s no longer a man’s world, if they fail, we would drive them away, we can’t deal with their stupidity, we need Proverbs 31 men too” she blurted out, I could sense hurt from her words.
“Calm down” I replied after adding a Laugh Out Loud emoji (gosh I love the use of emoji’s in my conversations, they are instant bomb diffusers).
“My dear calmness never paid, being tough is my next plan” she texted. “I see you’re already playing the part of a mean vice principle, your display picture truly depicts that already, I think you should start speed dating” I recommend (obviously another joke, who does that on this side of the world?)
Unknowingly, she’d picked that thread and questioned back wanting to know what it meant, “google it” I replied. “On it” she texted back. Sharp girl, no knowledge is wasted, I said to myself. We went back and forth for over 5 minutes discussing the impossibilities of holding a speed dating session till we got to the middle of an iced river which we didn’t know was thawing underneath.
“My sister how many men in Nigeria want to marry? As I am unmarried myself I cannot offer them any good advice. Nonetheless, they are God fearing boys and would make wonderful husbands but they are scared of marriage, they are afraid of this adventure called MARRIAGE.” Followed by an eye roll with a long hiss.
Hmmmm, I sighed. Well I’d have a word or two to say to these group members of yours despite the fact that I’m unmarried, I typed back.
Cos genuine God fearing men aren’t afraid.
That caught her attention! Now let me drop a brief bio data about this friend of mine. She’s a hard working single mother whom I love dearly and constantly accolade her efforts for raising a beautiful university graduating daughter by herself. A victim of rape, yet chose to birth her daughter into this world and damn the consequences of stigmatization. She’d advertise cooked meals, pap, anything sell-able just to ensure her daughter stays in school and gets a decent education. I call her my no-nonsense friend whom I rarely visit. I’m that scared of her venom! She’s that type of friend who’d come nurse you when you’re sick, yet, would tell you that hard truth you’ve been shelving. But had she told herself the truth?
They who are led by the spirit of God are called the sons of God. A leader leads by example. If he has the Holy Spirit indwelt in him, then he ought to trust Him enough to lead him to the right mate just like Isaac.
A relationship is like a man/woman visiting an ice cream shop. There they stand before a variety of tray indecisive about what flavor to choose from. Preferably, they opt to try out every single one in hopes of finding the best. Smart move yeah?
Wrong choice! In the process of trying all, you end up worse off than you started, undecided about what you want, you’re left in a state of confusion.
Pick one! And by all means trust it enough to enjoy it till the end, make it your best experience. After all, new flavors are produced everyday.
God is a verb! Life is a verb!! Love is a verb!!! You are a verb!!!
I used to be that one standing at the opposite side of the ice cream box, afraid of marriage and commitments. I’d constantly question the state of my relationship always wondering if I was with the right person simply because a lot of people around me had failed marriages and relationships, each day birthed a new case. But now, I’m determined to make mine work. I’m going in with both hands and all I need is a man who understands what it means to be a verb + the God factor (he should love God, when he does, it births the fear of God and because he loves and fears God, he’d be wise enough to know he’s a custodian of God’s priceless gift;me and manhandling me attracts sanctions from my owner, God.)
“Wow, you have just changed my mindset, I am a verb, you are a blessing to me and thank you very much for this.” She typed back. I could literally feel her walls crumble down from over 116 km away.
We are blessings to each other and that’s how the world ought to be. We are lamp bearers spreading God’s love all over. I responded.
“You are a verb, you’re the best, I’m so going to share this with my subjects at the club,” she blurted back. (Subjects? She calls them subjects? I pictured a queen addressing her subjects from her castle’s balcony. Laugh out loud! Again for the third time. Well, we’ll deal with that story some other day.)
“Don’t be afraid, you can’t live in the fear of your past. It shouldn’t be your reference point. That’s the devil’s trap, the accuser of the brethren who wants to keep you locked in your mind forever. Well guess what’s a treat to him? A man/woman who comes into that realization of who they are meant to be!” I strongly sensed to share these words with her which I did.
“Hmm, I have been a slave to my past, I am even scared of loving!” She responded.
Wow! Were the only words my mouth could utter, these were too heavy to say, too heavy to bear. I had no idea I’d just helped her admit to something deeply hidden. Sadly, it’s a place a lot of people do not want to admit being in. Everyone’s always fine when you ask them, whereas, inside they’re like a lighted string of wild knock-outs blasting everything away in their path.
I led her to pray and asked God to heal her of whatever hurt she’d held onto, such as I have, I gave unto her. She’s God’s child and deserves Love, Life and some dose of laughter!
“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
Missed out on our previous post; The Pure Light Generation, Click here
